Do you feel that you carry the burden of the housework? Do you wish that your spouse would help out more? Do you wish that your man would be as excited as THAT guy when you ask him to vacuum for you?
Here are 7 tips to get your husband to help with the housework!
Us women are AWFUL at asking for help! We think, “I shouldn’t have to ask!” Well, sorry. You do! You’re going to have to get over it and ask, girl! Most husbands don’t mind the ask. What they DO mind is you randomly blowing up at them because you feel like you’re doing too much around the house. You’ve been seething inside for over a week at every dirty dish you see around the house. But guess what. You haven’t asked anyone to run around the house and pick up the dishes before they head to bed. Instead, you’ve seethed, then eventually blown up. And he is ROYALLY confused (We women seem to think he can read our minds).
Ladies (and there are even some men out there who experience this too) – your spouse doesn’t pick it up because they don’t see it. I think this is the perfect time to use the word, “Legit.” I know you don’t want to believe it. That empty toilet paper roll on the floor that’s been sitting there for two months? They don’t see it. Are the little pieces of crumbs sticking to your socks? They don’t feel it. The pile of laundry that hasn’t been washed? They don’t smell it. Your spouse doesn’t pick those things up, because they don’t care if they’re picked up! They don’t think twice about the clutter and grime when they walk by. And guess what – that’s okay. It’s who they are. You care, and that’s who you are. You want help. You need help. So. Ask.
*I’m being firm with you today 🙂 *
Yeah, that’s right. If it’s a specific request, ask once. DON’T NAG. That’s gonna get you nowhere. I know it’s hard, but hold your tongue and walk away! If he forgets, remind him later, when you’re not irritated, that it’s important to you, and tell him the reason why you needed it done during that time frame or day, and leave it at that. Because right now, you’re training him :o)
So, I’ve told you to ask. Make sure you ask nicely! Spitting out your request through your teeth won’t be well received. Neither will screaming, “Would you pick your stuff up already?!?!?” No, a calm, polite, “Could you please empty the dishwasher today” will get you much farther in your request. You can also say “Thank You.” That might be done with words, or maybe a quick hug a little later when the task is done. Or a simple smile when he’s doing the job. I love it when people show their appreciation to me. So show yours. Even though you’re thinking, “I don’t get a thank you every time his magical underwear shows up clean and folded in his drawers! Be nice. He’ll like you more if you’re nice. And want to do more for you!
Keep it Simple
Here is a truth about Men that I learned from Kevin Leman’s book, Have A New Husband by Friday (no endorsements received for mentioning this book, it’s just a game-changer all wives should read!). Men can only handle a few things on their ‘Honey-To-Do’ list. You’ll have more success if there are just three things on it. For some men, one thing is enough. Write a short list. Put it up. Kiss him when it’s done. Write the next one!
Only Ask if You Mean It
Here’s the hard part. Once you’ve asked him, don’t go behind him and do it anyway. He’ll figure you either:
A) think he’s incapable or
B) didn’t really want him to do it and/or
C) be really confused.
The inevitable result will be that next time you ask, he won’t take the request seriously and you’ll end up doing it! And, if he has done it, DON’T go behind him and ‘do it right.‘ Girl, if you’re doing that, what’s the point in asking? Maybe you WANT to do all the housework after all? He’s not you. He’s not gonna do it like you. Take what you can get and move on!
So, your spouse may not be obsessed with Norwex like you. He probably has never watched a YouTube video on how to use an EnviroCloth, or read the post on How To Spring Clean Your Windows with Norwex. Or excitedly flipped through the online Norwex Catalog when the new Winter Catalog is released. Therefore, he likely doesn’t know how to use the cleaning supplies you have kicking around.
Talk about the amazing science of Norwex Microfiber at dinner: “Norwex microfiber is one two-hundredth of a human hair. That’s crazy!”
Offer a Reward
I don’t know about you, but when my husband is vacuuming the rug, wiping down the table, and taking out the trash, I loooooooove him. Things happen when I watch him cleaning if you know what I mean. *wink* Let him know! This is a great incentive for him! No, you’re not being manipulative. You’re just being honest! Acts of Service is one of the love languages for many women. And your husband is MORE than happy to comply! You could always mention something when you’re walking out the door, like, “Honey, when I get home, I would be soooo happy (*wink) if the dishes were washed.”
You will feel legitimate joy. And so will he.